Techno Security - Travel

I had such an exciting adventure attempting to get down to Techno Security that I decided I needed to have a dedicated blog entry about it. Please note this is a break from IR and forensics.

My day began at 6 am. I arrived in Philadelphia for my connecting flight to Myrtle Beach around 1pm. My flight was scheduled to leave at 3:30. No worries, just a 2 hour layover...yeah right. And that's when things went awry.

As an experiment in not just awareness but self-amusement I decided to take my notebook with me on my trip so I could take notes on what happened during my trip and write down any observations at the same time. So without further ado, here are some observations, quotes and other stories from my beleaguered trip down.


The following is from my Airport of Origin:


Observation: 9:15am

"8 TSA guys at baggage check. One spinning in chair getting dizzy, standing up then attempting to walk. Other TSA employees standing by laughing".

- comment - tax dollars hard at work, no problem with homeland security here.

At the security check I attempt to add a little humor to the screening process.

TSA Guard:"How are you today"
Me:"Overdressed apparently" This in reference to the de-robing that passengers must undergo.
TSA Guard:"I take it you have to pee"
Me:"No not really".

She clearly did not get my brand of humor.

-comment- Why is it that I can't take a certain size container of "liquids or gel" onboard but I can take bomb making components - copper wire, batteries, tools etc.

-comment- Oh great a turboprop, I love massaging chairs.

Observation:
10:00am Young man across the way using a macbook sets it down on the chair next to him, and goes to bathroom.
10:05am Young man returns
10:18 Old man across the way using an Asus EEEPC sets it down on chair next to him, and walks down the hallway.
10:23 Old man returns

-comment- Can people really be that trusti..stupid?

I refer to Johnny Long at this point...No Tech Hacking all the way.


There were two women sitting behind me at the airport having a very candid discussion about HR issues in a corporation. I won't get in to details but let's just say people need to be more aware of the conversations they have in public. We do pay attention even if we appear to be "pre-occupied". I was pre-occupied with capturing their conversation.

The following is from Philadelphia:

After 2 hours of the following comment our plane arrived...
Woman at Gate: "The flight to Myrtle Beach is running behind schedule due to weather. As soon as it arrived it will need to be fueled, cleaned and catered. As soon as that's done we'll begin the boarding process".

After a relatively short boarding process the captain gets on and says (by the way you never want to hear this)
Pilot flight 3245: "Ladies and gentlemen, unfortunately we can't push off yet, it looks like we took a bird in the #2 engine and maintenance just needs to take a look at it".

Observation - The maintenance crew pulls up and "takes a look at it" and essentially confirmed "yep there's a bird in the engine" and drove off.

My plane finally pushes off from the gate and we make it out to the tarmac for taxi and as we are pulling near the runway I look out the window and see approximately 15 airplanes stacked up in holding positions. Uh-oh that can't be good...

Pilot Flight 3245: "Folks this is the captain on the flight deck. I have bad news, they're holding up all the southbound flights at this time. There's a line of thunderstorms over virginia that's slowly moving east. It's going to be about 15 minutes before they update us".

25 minutes later...

Pilot Flight 3245: "Folks, we're headed back to the gate. They've found us a new flight path that will take about 2 hours but we don't have enough fuel. We need to head back to the gate to refuel and we'll be on our way. Thank you for your patience, we're trying to get you to Myrtle Beach as soon as possible."

At the gate some time later...

Pilot Flight 3245: "I know it's a pretty depressing situation folks. The flight attendant's will bring around water if you need a drink."

30 minutes later still at the gate...

Flight attendant (speaking to woman nearby):"No Ma'am I have no idea, I've been in the back there and know less than you." This in reference to what's taking so long and when we're going to leave.

The plane finally pushes off again and as we are being backed up so we can begin to taxi, the plane is all of a sudden heading back to the gate..my how odd. When we get back to the gate the co-captain opens the flight deck door and gets on the radio and says..

Co-captain:"Ladies and gentlemen I have a bit of bad news...we've missed our flight window and the big wigs upstairs have said we can't go. We missed our flight window, your crew has been in service for 15 hours and the FAA won't let us fly because we've timed out. Please bear with us, we're going to try to find a new crew."

Meanwhile, the baggage loading vehicle has approached the plane and is unloading us...

Flight attendant: "Ladies and gentlemen we have some good news to bring a smile to your faces. I'm breaking out the liquor cart. Ya'll have put up with more than you should have to today to I'm going to bring around the liquor cart."

The flight attendant made it through the first 1/3rd of the plane before they de-planed the passengers. Great I didn't even get a drink.

And this folks is where we start to have some real fun. Emergency planning 101: HAVE A PLAN.

At this point there are over 100 angry passengers that have spent the last 4 hours, waiting for their plane to take off. Not a lot of happy people... The airline set up three gates to re-ticket passengers, provide hotel and food vouchers and handle issues.
Fantastic..except it took about 15 minutes per passenger. Now what you ask did they do about the angry passengers? That's right they called security on them. By the time I arrived at the desk, all hotel vouchers had been used and they couldn't find me a hotel room anywhere. Another 30 minutes of waiting..

I walk over to the Airport Marriot at 9:15 or so and check myself in.

The next morning I arrived at security. My Driver's license was viewed as suspicious by TSA..why? Because my address had been crossed off on the front and was written by hand on the back on a DMV sticker. Apparently in NY this is acceptable, but not in Philadelphia. Interesting...TSA has different policies in different areas? Note if you will that TSA said nothing in the NY airport. Maybe the guards should have done more than spin in chairs and get dizzy.

I arrived in Myrtle Beach a day late - the day the conference started. My bag as it turns out was on a different flight..one that got delayed. So, I was in two day old clothes, full of airplane stink and I couldn't check in to my hotel room because it was too early..so what else could I do but hit the conference?

The airline you ask? US Airways...